• Isaac Garcia

When to tell someone your dating you have schizophrenia

If you are beginning to date someone I have 3 criteria for myself when disclosing my mental illness.

If you are still experiencing symptoms and it is still affecting your life on an everyday basis then you in my opinion have a responsibility to disclose your mental illness after testing the waters to see if your first even compatible with the person you have met.

I would not in my opinion tell them in the first few dates but if you see yourself continuing to date this person then it is only fair you tell them what's part of the package with dating you and what to sometimes expect if your have a "bad" day.

That way they are at least prepared so they know what to expect and how to handle it.

Have them read learn the LEAP method of dealing with symtoms by Dr. Xavier Amador.

If they decide to not date you then you know they are not the person for you.

On the other hand if you are on top of your meds and are taking responsibility for your mental illness. if you have good emotional intelligence and know you will be a benefit in a postive way in their life by being in a relationship that is non conflict way.

Or you have no symptoms by going through proper self care of again taking your medication that works for you and doing what you need to do to live a mentally healthy life.

Then I would wait maybe a year or two just so they can get to know the real you. Your loving, compassionate, smart, deep and kind you that has a lot to offer in a relationship.

That way they won't base who you are just on the stigma of mental illness or what they think they know about schizophrenia based on the ignorance of the masses seeing it portrayed in movies or the homeless person screaming and talking to himself on the street because the mental health system has failed him or he refuses to take responsibility of treatment and resources.

In my opinion and I'm not trying to offend anyone in this post or go against your values or not validate your fear of rejection, but if you decide this is someone in your life who you feel will truly accept you then go for it.

Then if you are thinking of popping the question and asking them to marry you and you will be engaged to this person I feel that That is the right time to sit down with them and disclose your mental illness. Disclose it BEFORE you pop the question.

Sit them down and say

[insert name],

We have been dating for a long time and I think it's time I tell you more about myself, something that is very significant to my life. I've wanted to tell you from the very beginning but I wanted you to see me for me, not something I developed I had NO control over and NEVER asked for. I have a mental illness called schizophrenia and it's not what you think. It's not the streotype of this illness you hear about. I live a normal productive healthy life and our relationship is good, healthy, and happy. I wanted to tell you this because I feel it's time now that you see who I am and the positive benefit I have shared with your life ❤. I understand if you may feel betrayed because I kept this from you for so long I was just afraid and I hope you don't think any different of me of who you knew me as a few moments ago. I love you and want you in my life.

If they truly do love you they will accept it and now you can start educating them on this mental illness and what it means to you.

If they reject you that is just the risk you have to take, it is a moral obligation I would do if in your situation.

The last criteria I would disclose is if for any reason during dating your medication stops working and you start to experience symptoms you should first go to your mental health team and they will help you through it.

But it is a moral obligation to tell your partner what you are experiencing and have the "talk" with them so hopefully they will support you through this difficult time.

That is my take on what I would personally do, and if they leave and kept accept you and wiling to work through the difficult time of your psychosis with sometimes the damage it can have on a relationship then you know they are not for you.

Please heart this post if you found it insightful or if you disagree comment and let me know your opinion, this blog is a safe and non judgemental place to express yourself.

I will always be respectful of your thoughts and opinions.

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